Divorces in Lahore

A newspaper says that wealthy women (alas) have happier married lives

* Clinical psychologist says people in affluent localities try to keep their social status intact by not making their disputes public
* Advocate Surayya Farzand says if a dispute starts in a less privileged family, the husband usually beats wife and forces her to leave home

By Rana Tanveer

LAHORE: It seems that women in posh localities are happy with their marital life, because a less number of women from these areas go to courts to get divorce, compared to women from less privileged areas, reveals courts data available a survey conducted by Daily Times.

The survey, which was completed after analysing 300 cases out of 12,000, pending before family courts of the city, revealed that 7.8 percent women of Gulberg, DHA and Model Town (Gulberg 3 percent, DHA 2.2 percent and Model Town 2.6 percent) moved the courts.

These cases are about suits for dissolution of marriage, maintenance, repayment of conjugal rights, and suit for recovery of dowry.

The survey revealed that Bund Road alone has eight percent women who moved the courts to resolve their family disputes. About 32.7 percent women of less privileged areas have moved the courts to resolve their divorce disputes.

7.1 percent women in Cantonment demanded marital rights through courts from their former husbands, the study reveals. The Cantonment includes Saddar, Burki, and Manawan.

Women of Shalamar and its suburbs (7.5 percent), Shahdara (7.2 percent), Multan Road (3.4 percent), Wahdat Colony (0.75 percent), Johar Town/Iqbal Town (3.4 percent) and Chungi Amarsidhu (1.5 percent) took their family disputes before the courts.

Clinical Psychologist Sajjad Ahmad said, “Almost every married couple fights, but it is up to them how they resolve their matters. In affluent localities, people try to keep their social status intact by not making their disputes public. Women in posh localities being well educated try their best to resolve their family matters on their own. In case they have to part, they do it without intimating others or going to courts.” He said women in posh localities did not bother to move the courts for recovery of dower, which they considered an insult to the family.

He said, “Women in less privileged areas, being less educated, make mountains out of a molehill, disturbing their marital lives that later end in divorces.”

Normally, he said, women did not file cases against their former husbands, but their families forced them to do so.

Advocate Surayya Farzand Chaudhry, who deals with family cases, said, “If a matter rises in a well-off family, it is resolved through conciliation and in few cases divorce takes place. If a dispute rises in a less privileged family, the husband beats the wife and forces her to leave home. In such cases, husbands neither let their wives return home, nor divorce them, which forces the women to approach the courts.”

She said, “In several cases, the husband divorces his wife, but does not return her dower, which again leads the women to move the courts.”

Courtesy: The Daily Times, June 23, 2008

8 responses to “Divorces in Lahore

  1. Pingback: Divorces in Lahore | Tea Break

  2. I’m amused by the psychologist’s androcentric classist comment: “Women in less privileged areas, being less educated, make mountains out of a molehill, disturbing their marital lives that later end in divorces.”

    The idea is, those stupid uneducated women make a fuss about nothing (because they don’t value the security of married life and their children’s future). One would imagine that their husbands had nothing to do with the marital situation.

    Could it be that upper class men and women work hard to protect their respective status in an intensely classist society (as divorce still affects a person’s social standing) despite physical and emotional abuse (Dr Sajjad suggests this too)? I doubt beating doesn’t happen in wealthy families though it’s possible it is less frequent. Or could it be that economic pressures lead less privileged families into a morass of domestic conflict? There are so many other explanations – beyond the whole “wealthy women are smarter and keep the boat floating.”

  3. Clinical psychologist and Advocate for divorces:
    I am just lost for words after reading this generalised and misleading biased article about reasons and attitude regarding divorces in LAhore and sorrounding areas.
    Divorces are same irrespective of Defence or a kachi basti……..a home is broken,dreams are shattered ,people are damaged and most probably they had suffered mental and physical abuse and will have to try to recover from it rest of their life not only two people but the whole families on both sides.The worst suferers are the children.
    This is the complex question?society is changing fast,people have become materialistic and individualistic without realising.Economy is shattering ,people have less place to share and yet we want more luxury and are not ready to work hard or to sacrifice for it.
    Also different people have different understanding of self respect,luxury,work ,income,freedom and expenditure.
    Tradition and culture is cahnging fast where woman has not decided how much freedom she wants and at what cost?
    And man has not decided how much freedom he can have and where to stop?
    The reasons for divorces :
    Family values individuals are brought up with are different ,Woman is taught to be assertive but at the same time man is not taught to be tolerant …….
    As the society is becoming more individualistic ,we cannot live in joint family systems.
    We live in dreams and have very little experience of practical life……..sometimes we do not understand our ownself and most of the times it is the shitty politics of people around involved.
    It is about wrong expectations and marrying into families instead of individuals.
    CAN WE ESCAPE THIS:No we have to pay this price until man and woman marry each other for the sake of companionship and to have family life and learn to live within their means instead of expecting high dowry or rich husband…….
    And before marriages if they see are they compatible and see the practical ,mental and emotional side of a person

  4. Good piece of advice from Ms.Shah.I can not help laughing when I think how the matchmaking old maasis fix rishtas like deals.Now the parents should be ware of all such people around who think they can control some one else’s life.Ask your kids when are they ready to get married and with whom.This is just one of the suggestion I have thought for myself too.

  5. Koonj and others
    many thanks for responding to this silly story..I just found the content interesting. It used to be rare to read stories on divorce and now things are changing – that is why I posted it. I agree the arguments are flawed and not backed by proper research…

  6. Does one realize… the reason may not be money just the level of education and that girls aren’t just married without their consent anymore, girls take a stand while in the other area/localities still giving a girl a choice is thought anti-islam/anti-pakistani culture… so poof… what do u get unhappy women!!!

  7. I have noticed that both parties hide their true status before marriage, and it is only after sometimes the truth is exposed and quarls start. As of the question of posh or poor locality, it is the sub-culture of these groups that determines how to fight.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s